Musings

How Time flies

2010-10-01T09:24:00.003-05:00

Wow, i forgot all about this thing. I guess I should try and start writing more on here.

Its interesting to me to go back and read about what was going through my mind in the past. I have a fascination with diaries - not mine but others. I love reading journals and such (historical ones, Samuel Pepys, Lewis and Clark, Anne Frank, etc).

I just never thought I'd find what I had to write interesting. Huh.....imagine that.

A little less disappointment : )

2008-09-05T09:28:00.003-05:00

I have been reading a lot of books lately and have been making a lot of progress with my 'issues'. Im feeling a lot better these days, and not getting down on myself nearly as much as I used to.

Working out at the gym is helping too. I've really been trying hard and working at making progress and its showing. Its a good source of motivation too, because if you can break through those physical barriers and see the difference, it shouldn't be any different for those mental ones.

So I had also secretly hoped to have a blog that was very Doogie-esque and had all of these profound revelations summed up into a single powerful sentence. That's not what I've achieved here but im ok with that - elaboration is nicer i think. But if you think about it, the Doogster was blogging before all of us!

I think spring is on the way

2008-08-16T22:58:00.001-05:00

Roses should be standing here
Brown eyes shouldn't cry
Hearts be made unbreakable
Blue eyes shouldn't lie

The sun is dyin' to see you
The clouds are begging to part
Spring is waiting on you
Is it still Winter in your heart?

Bottles should be deeper
The hourglass should lie
Candles let burn longer still
Bullets shouldn't fly

Is it still Winter in your heart?
Do you refuse another season's start?
The birds have all flown from my trees
They've gone away with all my yesterdays and used-to-bes
Is it still Winter in your heart?
Let flood the light
Let the curtains part

Roses should be standing here
Blue eyes shouldn't cry
Hearts be made unbreakable
Brown eyes shouldn't lie

The sun is dyin' to see you
The clouds are begging to part
Spring is waiting on you
Is it still Winter in your heart?

8 Seconds Left in Overtime.....

2008-08-11T10:21:00.003-05:00

So im making some progress in my 'issue' that's been bugging me. It helps too when life is good to you and gives you some excitement to help you forget the down times. Looks like I may be getting a new job soon (fingers crossed) and its really exciting for me! More to come on that when things finally start to happen, dont want to jinx it. I've had a pretty good week and used some tools from the book to make some bleak days be better, but yesterday was another bad day for me.

i've done some journaling exercises recommended to me in a book im reading and its kind of a hokey thing but the results are suprising. The author gives you some sentence stems and you have to complete it with 4-5 endings. Its kind of a grown up version of that game you might have played when you were a kid, you know where you'd get asked something like "When I grow up I want to be..." and you had to write down 5 things and then share it with the class. These are more personal questions and much harder to answer sometimes. The author suggests that if you get stuck to invent an answer even if its not true, but I find sometimes even that is hard to do.

So the one thing about self-help books and me is this: sometimes i need the ton of bricks dumped on my head before i get it. Not all the time or with any subject, but when you're trying to dive into your innards and surface with something meaningful - what do you do when you're stuck and repeated dives dont give you any answers? That's kind of where I am. I KNOW what is bugging me, I KNOW there have been others with the same problem, and i KNOW there has to be a way to fix it....the solution is just evading me at the mo. I guess Im too impatient. : )

I've been listening to The Fray a lot lately. Their song Over My Head is kind of becoming my theme song these days. I feel really overwhelmed with a lot of stuff, work, life, sadness....im hoping that it wont be long i can listen to that song and think "i used to think this song was me". But for now, I do feel like Im in over my head.

Other topics - Im totally loving working out and working with the personal trainer. I lost 7 pounds the first 2 weeks, but the last 2 weeks I actually gained 3 lbs. we crunched the numbers and did the measurements and its ok - i lost some fat and gained some muscle. So even though i went up in weight by 3 lbs, my body fat percentage is less. Again, Im just being impatient! I want all this flab off my gut (yeah, its there trust me).

My sister comes to visit in September, im really looking forward to seeing her again after about a year and a half!

And isn't it almost College Football season? I can't wait, bring it!

In the mood?

2008-08-01T08:27:00.003-05:00

Ive been a little moody lately. I know what it is, and im trying to change it. Its something that's been bugging me for a long time, but its one of those things that after you are aware of it and continually adapt to it you kinda dont notice you're feeling moody, and what the cause is.

Its just like when you have a mess in your house, you know, like that stack of mail on the table. You walk past it and notice it and think "I need to do something about that" but you dont do it right then. You see it again later and think the same thing. After a few times you stop noticing the stack and that its growing - it just becomes part of your table....or in this case part of your life. Over time it just becomes 'normal' and you dont notice the 'discomfort' it causes you....

I saw a movie recently that kind of took this stuff out off my inner shelf and dumped it on the floor and said to me "You just *think* you put this away and folded it right, but its not right so you have to do it again". *sigh*

Im reading books and trying to journal about it. Today is particularly tough. Can't wait for this to be finally dealt with.

Ketchup (catch up)

2008-06-30T11:25:00.002-05:00

I got back from St Louis last week and stopped on the way home by ye olde mailbox to gather a week's worth of junkmail, and then proceeded to my driveway. When I got close I punched the button on my garagedoor opener and proceeded to back into my driveay and up to the garage door. when I turned my head around to steer myself in, the garage door was still closed. "Weird", i thought.

So i punched the button again thinking it just hadn't picked it up the first time. The door started to go DOWN....what the?!?! So i punched it again and watched, it did go up bot only about 1/4 of the way and then it stopped. What is going on? Bad part is I had lent my key out to my dad so i didnt have it to get in the front door. nope, i had to 'indiana jones' it and slide under the 1/4 of the way open garage door.

....and there was the problem. snapped coil spring on the door. Bet that was a monster to hear when it broke! So i've got a dude coming out today to fix it. Parking in the driveway in this heat is torture. I dont see how everyone else does it, i melt like the guy at the end of raiders of the lost ark when i climbed into it all weekend. its dead hot here.

I also saw that movie Wall-E. i usually like pixar movies, but this one was a little different. First off, much of the movie contains no dialog, just wall-e and eve doing their thing. Its amazing to me how someone can A. visualize such a story and B. animate it without live action. I guess there's a methodology they use and scripting tools and whatnot, but i certainly bow down to their abilities as much more clever than mine. It was a great movie, very touching and sweet. Pixar, you've done it again.

I've also been on Facebook recently and gotten in touch with not only old friends, but have made some new ones as well, so to all of you coming here from there, howdy.

Johnny B Goode

2008-06-24T22:01:00.002-05:00

So yesterday I flew to St Louis. Usually when I go to St Louis I fly direct, none of that changing planes hassle. But this time i had to alter my plans slightly because my co-worker whom I stay with, Barb, wasn't going to be home on Sunday when I normally fly.

So i booked a flight that left on Monday, which meant I had a layover in Dallas. I got on the plane and who was on the flight to St Louis? Chuck Barry. I wouldn't have recognized him if I hadn't overheard people talking about him. But I did nod at him and he did smile back. Seems like a nice man. I tried to see if he was playing in St Louis while im here (he lives here) but sadly he isn't playing again until July.

Next time I'll ask for a quick tune before I get off the plane :)

Learning

2008-06-09T10:40:00.000-05:00

So with much time to think while i'm running, I frequently come up with my 'musings' and ponder on them. I mean what else is there to do when you're spending 35-40 mins just jogging?

My most recent revelation is that Im a good number 2, but not such a good number 1. What does that mean? Well i think im pretty good at excelling when i have rules to go by, defined boundaries and guidelines to follow. But when I have to be the one making up the rules or the boundaries and guidelines i tend to second guess myself too much to be effective. Some people are natural leaders. Some people are natural leader 'support'. I think that's the place where I fall. I can do the leading thing and do it ok, but im not a 'super' leader.

And I think im ok with that. Im not out to be a CEO or anything, I dont want to own my own business. But sometimes that 'number 2' thing can become a bit of a problem in my personal life. Like I can't really pin down what my 'plans' are going to be in the next few days, weeks, months, etc. I dont think that far ahead , im not a true visionary, either personally or professionally. Time to invest some thought into how to make my personal life a little more #1-ish than #2-ish.

Paging Dr Oppenheimer

2008-06-06T10:41:00.000-05:00

So this is me today. I had an injection of radio-active phosphorous material so that they can do a bone scan later today and see what my bones are doing. The injection went easily enough, I didnt have any issues with that. But after I removed the gauze-pad-and-tape they give you after a shot, I noticed a really dark bloody lump under the skin. I'll have to ask them if its ok or if that is something to worry about. Dont want a blood clot!

The guy that gave me the injection said to make sure I drank lots of fluids to disperse the material in my body really well, and then to make sure I urinate a lot to dispose of the bits that didnt get absorbed. Wonder if my pee will glow in the dark? I promise NOT to post a picture of it if it does.

A word of advice

2008-06-05T10:42:00.000-05:00

If your mother tells you that she's going to have breast reduction surgery, and then tells you that the doctor wonders why she took so long to come in because she's abnormally top-heavy, and then tells you that the nurse commented that her bo-jangas must weigh 20 lbs each, and then your mother says she responded that they do, and that the nurse asked if she had ever weighed them, and then your mother says that she responded that she had weighed them....

PLEASE.....for your own safety and peace of mind....

DO NOT!!!!!!

...ask your mother how she weighed them. You really really really really really dont want to hear that story.

Oh, Double Dear.....

2008-05-29T14:18:00.000-05:00

If you're not tuned into the 'world economic' situation at the moment, particularly revolving around OIL, then there are 2 articles you can read that will basically catch you up. These articles should be MANDATORY reading for everyone. Now, Im sure both are biased to some degree, but both do at least make you stop and think for a moment about what's going on...and if these articles don't do that, then at least you'll be able to overhear the topics on the news or in coversation so that you can go "oh yeah, that...." and actually know what you're saying.

Article One

Article Two

Don't say I never ruinded your day! Now get out there and make things better for us all!

Really Summer has arrived

2008-05-27T11:23:00.000-05:00

I have this joke I tell people i work with that don't live in Texas (and therefore dont know of the oppressive heat). I tell them that in Texas we have 2 seasons: Summer, and Really Summer. And that is basically true. In fact Josh and I joke about 'sweater week' when it gets 'slightly chilly' around december/january.

Its been in the 90's almost every day for the last 2 weeks or so, which means we're officially into the heat of the year. It will peak around August/September, cool slightly in October and then we usually get our first 'cool' front around Halloween.

But I think this 'Really Summer' season i will do just fine. You see, a few days ago my air conditioner seized up for about the 3rd or 4th time. So I phoned up the repair service, had the guy come round, and after discussion it was decided i'd be best served replacing my whole unit - and it cost a tidy sum I must say.

But ever since its been installed I have been delighted! I've had the thermostat set 1 degree colder than I had my older unit, and i get chilly! This new system has a humidity control on it that really makes the cool air feel colder. The good news is that my house has appreciated significantly since I bought it, so in the event that I ever sell the house, i should be able to recover the cost of the new system.

But with such a nice cooling unit, I might not ever leave!

Hang on a sec...

2008-03-12T12:55:00.001-05:00

Stay right there, I'll be right back

Feeling a little Bullish

2007-10-29T13:14:00.000-05:00

I've done really well this year with my investing. I actually bought in to a few stocks over the summer, and have been able to earn, within a few months time on a small-ish initial investment, around $1400. Which isn't a ton but it is $1400 more than I had before.

I've learned quite a bit about investing this year, and I have done pretty well from what it is that I've learned. BUT I am realiztic enough to know that I have been fairly lucky this year. Not everyone is able to make money on stocks, and in fact most money managers dont earn money for their clients, statistics show.

So here's to me winning in the short term, and looking forward to wins in the long term. Im hoping the bull market continues to at least thanksgiving, but beyond thanksgiving im thinking we're going to see a recession.

Five-Eighteen!

2007-06-05T16:08:00.000-05:00

So google hit $518 today....that totally rocks!

hopefully it will continue up to $600 or so, that's where I'd like to see it go before I dump it.

On a side note, I was using a retirement calculator today and it just depresses me how poor I will be even with everything I am saving for retirement. One bad car accident or hospital stay and I'll get cleaned out. Well maybe not cleaned out but I do worry about it.

Maybe Im just paranoid....hey, is that a penny on the ground?

Googled

2007-06-01T08:51:00.000-05:00

Got into GOOG today finally...hit the ground at 501.63. Crossing fingers!

Taking the plunge on google

2007-05-31T07:55:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm going to try and cash in on the wild ride that is GOOGLE. Stock is at just under $500, projected to hit $564, so lets see if I can make some money on this thing. Booyah!

A new start...in mid-year

2007-05-29T15:38:00.000-05:00

So many things are changing with me. To begin with, I have been on a diet since the Super Bowl, which was my last 'eat whatever you want' meal before I started. Since then I've lost 33 pounds. How'd I do it you ask? Well.....

First off, I stopped eating red meat. High in fat and cholesterol, it was a good thing to do. I still eat chicken, pork and fish. Although I have to say, I stayed off of red meat for 3-4 months I have recently re-introduced it in small quantities to my diet.

Secondly, I am only eating 1500 calories a day. I eat whatever I want, but once I hit 1500 I have to stop for the day. I told this to someone and they laughed and said, "1500 calories?!? That's BREAKFAST!". And THAT my friend, is why you are FAT and I am not.

Lastly, I am exercising. I walk and/or run 3-4 miles a day, at LEAST 5 days a week, sometimes 6 or 7 days a week. Then after my walk/run, I am lifting weights to add some hunks of lovely to my body.

So what else is new? Well I recently read a great book that made me realize that I am not saving enough for retirement. So now I'm spending all kinds of time and effort in trying to save money. And not just saving by putting money into the bank or investments, but also saving money by clipping coupons and only buying things on sale. Its really opened my eyes to how much wasteful spending I was doing.

These are good changes, I dare say I am becoming responsible!

Could this be the new Treble?

2007-02-19T17:46:00.000-06:00

If United can manage to make it past Reading in the FA Cup replay, there's still a good chance that the treble will be on for this season...crossing my fingers!!

Get a Clue

2006-03-06T16:30:00.000-06:00

So yesterday we were playing CLUE. It was the first time Noah and Christopher had played the game. I was explaining how to play, and gave an example of how you have to pick a Suspect, a Weapon and a Room.

We got through the example and noah was playing with the weapons, and I figured he hadn't really paid attention while I was explaining. As I began to launch into a SECOND example, noah interrupts me with "I GET IT!".

Little stinker. : )

Things are lookin' good on the Beach

2006-01-24T09:13:00.000-06:00

Sooooooo.....over christmas I decided to step on the scale at my mom's house. I knew I had put on a few pounds over the years, but I had no idea I'd be in for such a shock. I thought "Yeah, I've probably put on 10 or so pounds"....nothing could have prepared me for the number that appeard on the digital readout. One-Hundred Ninety-Two. What!?!?! Can that be right??!?!?

So I figured, I've got to go on a diet before this gets REALLY out of hand. There was no way I was going to be faithful to a diet before New Years....and then there was the Rose Bowl on Jan 4th, so that was out. So I decided I'd start it that Sunday after the Rose Bowl. Carefully choosing from the myriad of fad diets these days, I picked the South Beach Diet Online. Its worked out really well, after 2 weeks I've lost almost 14 lbs. My goal is to lose 30 lbs, so almost halfway there! Wooo!!

So my kids are having to eat, for the most part, what I do. They haven't complained, in fact they eat mostly the same as we always have...its just that the sugary maple-laden baked beans we used to eat are replaced by pinto beans, or black-eyed peas.

Imagine their suprise when I bought them Donuts for breakfast one morning. I never saw a box of donuts devoured so quickly! Then, on Sunday, a 2nd box of donuts for them. It wasn't long before my 7 year old quipped - "Dad, you just want to feed us donuts so you'll be skinnier than us!" The perspective of a child is a never-ending source of amusement, I think I laughed for about an hour over that one.

Here's to the next 15 lbs I need to shed!

Brown

2005-11-09T15:44:00.000-06:00

I dont know what it is, but recently I am obsessed with clothing in shades of brown. Everything I look at now has to have some brown in it or I almost dont like it. Okay, tan too, and khaki, but mostly just brown.

My favorite color my entire life has been blue. What's up with this sudden shift to BROWN?

Maybe I need a labotomy.

Still Life with Nostrils

2005-11-08T14:18:00.000-06:00

Nasal polyps. I had em...been there, done that. In fact, i just had surgery to have them removed last week. It was the fourth time I've had them out. Yes, you read that right, four times I've had surgery to remove them FOUR times.

I'm told that this time its permanent, and I'm really trying to be optimistic. The surgery isn't exactly fun and it is expensive, too. I must say though, that this last time the surgery wasn't nearly as bad as the last three. In fact when I got home from the hospital I felt completely normal. No pain, no discomfort....usually it feels like someone punched you in the nose, but not this time. I got home and immediately ate a bowl of soup. Which I was able to taste. for the first time. In a very long while.

Today is actually 6 days since I had the surgery and I'm almost back to normal. No more blood when I blow my nose, and it doesn't feel all dry and goey anymore. I am no longer doing the saline wash a million times a day, more like once or twice. I dont mind the saline wash but it does mean you have to blow your nose a lot to get all of that vapor out.

Its really amazing how much being able to smell changes your daily routines. Like, used to be I didn't smell anything, so it really didnt matter if was ever gassy or not. Id let loose anytime anywhere when I was at home. Now I'm a little more cautious because believe me, when you can't smell for a long time and then all of a sudden you can - you are a little sensitive to odors.

But the upside is that I can smell my aftershave and I really quite like it. And this really great candle I bought at Williams Sonoma, its Evergreen scented or something, but it smells really really good. I get a rush of aromatic joy washing my hands in the sink with my evergreen soap or my lime soap. Silly to think that such a simple thing can perk you right up but it really does!

Now I'm trying not to try and eat everything in sight just to remember what it tastes like. This includes good foods as well as bad, and I'm finding that many times I am overeating which is not ideal. But it all just tastes so good! How did I make it so long without being able to smell and taste!?!?

Ipod - A Love Story

2005-11-08T14:10:00.000-06:00

So for a long long long time I've thought ipod's were pretty cool but grossly overpriced. I mean really, it just plays music and shows pictures...well okay so my new one plays video too (more on that in a minue) but still. I had bought a Creative Labs Zen Xtra off ebay in January for pretty cheap compared to an ipod. It did the same things as an ipod (at that time) and had as much room for songs on it.

I thought I had beaten the system. I was one up on society. I had an mp3 player that worked just fine. It was white. It had a large screen, and held 30 GB of music. I was hip. I even bought one for Christopher so he could be cool and hip. IPODS be damned, we were doing what everyone else was doing, just not as expensive.

Then........

the video ipod came out. I went to the ipod store and saw one, and I couldn't resist, I had to have it. Imagine being able to catch up on tv shows or movies while laying down with Noah at night. Imagine going on the plane with 3 Manchester United games to watch. amazing stuff.

Now you can't keep me off of itunes. I am looking everyday for stuff to listen to while I work. Mostly classical music, since I can't really listen to music with words in it while I work - its too distracting.

So the moral of the story, kids, is that the ipod video is a very cool think indeed. Go get one now. Before you chastise yourself for being without one for too long. you'll be glad you did!

Uncle Kyle's Chili Dip

2005-11-08T13:33:00.000-06:00

This chili dip recipe really isn't mine, it came from my Aunt Edith. We used to call it Aunt Edith's Chili dip. Aunt Edith passed away a few years ago, but even before that she had Altheimer's so she hadn't been 'with us' for about 10 years or so.

I'm the only one from the family (besides my mom) that was still making Aunt Edith's chili dip recipe. At work we used to have lots of potlucks and I brought this dip to one of them. After that first event, it was REQUESTED that I bring Kyle's Chili Dip, so I've changed the name of it for now. : )

Its good stuff, but you can't forget the OREGANO. Oh yeah, the picture shows beans but there's no beans in this dip.


Ingredients
--------------------
2 lbs ground beef
2 cans tomato soup
1 block Velveeta, cut into cubes
1 pkg onion soup mix
2 Tbs chili powder
1 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp cumin
1/4 tsp pepper (white pepper is spicier)
1/4 tsp salt
milk (as needed to thin)

Directions
--------------------
Brown the ground beef. Add chopped garlic to the beef for extra flavor if you like. Drain.

Return the drained beef and garlic to the pan. Over medium heat add the spices and stir to blend in with the meat. Pour in the soup and heat until bubbling. Add the cubes of velveeta and stir until melted. If the dip is too thick, thin with small amounts of milk until its the consistency you like.

Serve with good corn chips.

So there you go. This is good stuff for parties. Enjoy!

My Neighbors - an Introduction

2005-08-25T16:36:00.000-05:00

I have some pretty crazy neighbors. Well, maybe not CRAZY but they are....interesting. This is the house across the street from me that I am talking about. There has to be about 20 people that live there, seriously. The 'OWNER' of the house is, I think, an older guy that seems pretty nice. I wears scrubs everyday so I assume he works at a hospital.

There's also some other people that live there, 2 of them I *think* are sisters. One of them seems to be single and has just recently had a baby. She doesn't appear to stay there everynight though, so not really sure what's going on there.

The other sister has a young boy, and her boyfriend/husband also lives there. The bf/hubby used to have a home-arrest anke bracelet. I haven't seen it on him recently but it used to be there until about 2 weeks ago. I have no idea why he had to wear it. Could be for parking tickets or assault...no idea.

Then there's any manner of kids, between about 2 and 15. I can't really tell them apart, except that some are boys and some are girls.

Now here's where it gets interesting. These people do everything in their front yard. EVERYTHING. One day I glanced out my window and saw that they had inflated a large plastic pool in their yard and were swimming in it. And not just a standard round platic pool, oh no....this was WAY over the top. It had a slide, palm trees, a spray-nozzle. it was huge AND it was in the...front...yard.

They were all swimming in it, in all manner of obesity and low slung bathing suits. Believe me when I tell you I had to sheild my eyes.

When the bf/hubby had to stay home with his home arrest situation, he would have visitors. They would sit in the GARAGE and drink beer. They would sit out there even if it was 100 degrees outside. Just sitting there all night long drinking beer. Fortunately since the anklet came off the beer-bashes have ended.

One side effect from this was that on trash day, the trash guys would come by and empty the cans in front of our houses. The house across the street from me had an extra can, used entirely for beer bottles. When the trash guy would empty this thing (early in the morning) you'd just hear this extended CRRRRAAAASSSSHHHHH noise from all of those bottles - you'd swear the world was gonna end.

I wonder why they didn't recycle.......oh well. that's it for now. ta....

French Cooking

2005-07-12T13:26:00.000-05:00

I cook. I mean, I like to cook. In the past I've had interest in all kinds of cuisines, and have taken time to learn about them. My latest adventure is in French cooking.

I've made a few things so far and all of them have come with great reviews from my kids. I've been cooking out of Julia Child's Mastering The Art of French Cooking . I was lucky enough to find a used set from 1979 for fairly cheap but in good conditon.

My interest has mainly been in the meats and sauces, but I've branched out to other areas as well. I made the Soupe Au Pistou which is very easy and very tasty. The potatoes au gratin are also easy (but time consuming) and very good. I'm amazed at how much butter and cream they use in French cooking....it reminds me of watching Two Fat Ladies - they used butter and bacon in just about everything they cooked.

I've also been watching the Julia Child French Chef DVD's. They have them on Netflix if you're inclined to rent them. I do recommend them. I've learned quite a bit that you dont get from current Food Network gurus. Its also amusing to watch her in the show, with all of the mistakes and things they'd cut out these days. I swear half the time that lady was dipping into the wine during the show.

Some of the things I've learned watching her show:

- Dry your meat well before you saute it. This will help it brown better
- French bread takes about 7 hours to make...yikes!
- When you cook an omelet, you dont ever fold it in the pan..you fold it on the plate when its done
- The proper way to truss a chicken

My son Noah says his favorite French thing I've cooked is Chantilly Cream. Well, you dont really cook it, you prepare it. Its very easy to do and is very tasty with ice cream or cookies, or pastries.

Tonight I am hoping to cook a very nice Beef Daube. I've made it many times before, and its a very good meal but its best served on a cold night with crusty french bread. I'll write again when I have more to share about my French Cooking Adventure...

My first entry

2005-07-08T13:07:00.000-05:00

Hello fellow musers. Is that even a word?

My first post will be short. I'm just trying to get in touch with my inner-blogger and then I'll be on my way to blogging greatness. I hope to update regularly, but maybe not frequently. Okay?